oblivious nerd girl
hood chronicles

Today the NBA

Gave a lifetime ban

Against a man who's grip on a team

Has tainted it for the past thirty years

And when racist allegations came forth

My heart was sad that I was not surprised

But also because I worried that

The consequences of this man's actions

Would be nothing

Which would be the usual state of affairs

Rich men getting away with awful things

But surprisingly

A lifetime ban was issued

And while the financial penalty may mean nothing for a billionaire

The symbolic action of a lifetime ban

Mean something to me as a fan

Because sports gives fans a fantasy to believe in

A utopia where the winners and losers are distinctly outlined by the scoreboard

Not by the grim realities of oppression

And yes it is a game

And yes it isn't even my team

But this game and this team get to play for something more than a win

And it will not solve everything

But it gives hope

To a once hopeless fan

Pain

In my side

The irritation

The vise grip of my bra

Annoying the shit out of me

Wondering if men feel a similar annoyance

When their underpants are too tight

It's a terrible feeling

That can be salvaged

If I purchased a new article of clothing

That I really don't want to spend more money on

First world female problems

Staying indoors

After a productive day of

Chores, naps, and television

Recharging the necessary

Internal batteries

Bracing myself for the new week

And wondering how is it already the end of the month?

Time is going by too fast

Running around amusement parks

In silly hats

Reminds me of our

Childhood playfulness

And takes away the pain

Of yesterday's haunts

Thank you

Sitting in the darkness

Of the theater

Listening to the orchestra

Score the show

Thoughts lead to

A mother who

Desperately wanted to see

Phantom Of The Opera

Before it closed

It's forever long run

At the Ahmanson

She purchased the tickets

And our family headed out

To downtown LA

Which I realize now

Was a scary trek

For parents who never left

The confines of certain freeways

The 405, 101, 134, 170, and 118

May sound like that SNL sketch

But are real line demarcations

On the map of their territory borders

And that moment

Mother trying something new

Leaving the borders

To see a show

That would lead her daughter

To love theater

Which makes me smile

Since her troubles

Lead to missing shows

Lead to missing parties

Lead to missing life

But for that brief moment

She tried something new

Ant infestation

Seeing them crawl in the kitchen

Lead me to imagine

Insect feet crawling

Up and down my arms and legs

A reminde that the dishes need to be washed

But instead of washing them

I'm writing this

As a mode of procrastination

Thanks poetry

Afternoon fevers

Lead to afternoon naps and

Painful congestion

A make up haiku for yesterday

Blue heaven

Feels like home

Sitting in the stands

As the wave passes by

The roar of the crowd beckons

On a cool Tuesday evening

Wrapped in the latest Dodger blanket

That I call my own

I laugh as I say

"Look I'm the Mama Mary"

Only to met by a bewildered "who?"

From my not religiously raised husband

And I forget

That not everyone was taught

That the Virgin Mary

Is also 'Mama Mary'

And that praying to bottles filled with holy water in the shape of her likeness

May have been a normal thing to my family

Isn't exactly a normal thing to every family

But it still is funny

When I say "Mama Mary"

With a blanket over my head

You try it

And try not to laugh

Mini vacations in the desert

Traversing through various numbered freeways

Leading back home

In time for afternoon naps

A day off to celebrate

Eleven years

Affirmations quell insecurities

Happy forward motion

Immigrant Easter memories

Parents not understanding the concept of Easter eggs

Having to figure out how to dye eggs on my own

Thinking the Paas dye was actually candy

Biting into bitter pill

Turning my teeh an ungodly shade of green

Not realizing I had to boil the eggs first

Yolk spilling as the eggs cracked

That was the end of Easter eggs in our home

I would have to find them at family parties at whatever easter party we found ourselves at

Today I spent Easter gallivanting in Joshua Tree

Exploring this National Park and all its wonders

Asking ourselves questions like

Why are the trees concentrated in this area?

Why are the rock formations like that?

What animal pooped that dropping on this trail?

Wind and sunlight surround us

And I'm thankful for the chance to explore this park on this day

As the sunsets on this valley

I dream of what future easters will be

Will there be Easter eggs and bunnies?

Will there be more day trips to national parks?

Will it be happy or sad?

All I know is I can't wait to find out