oblivious nerd girl
hood chronicles

I missed one on Friday, so I shall make it up with two today! Here is the day 4 entry!

Love

Missing Love tonight

Singing karaoke, you were in my thoughts

Wishing you were with us

Even though you weren't there

Your spirit truly was

As we sang sappy love songs

As we laughed over Japanese goodies

As we did our traditional birthday club celebration

Love, you were there

You fight that warrior fight

You are an inspiration

You are always on our minds

Love, you will win this battle

You will soon be at one of our next birthday club get togethers.

It'll be for your birthday

We'll toast to you and all your warrior woman ways

We'll eat, drink, and be merry

But most of all we'll be with you

Inspired by my dear friend Love who is currently fighting the good fight against Leukemia. More info on her battle can be found at http://teamlovell.com

The day before my 21st birthday the twin towers fell. My alarm went off to Ralph Garmin of KROQ's Kevin and Bean show reporting about the plane crashes. Total confusion set in. I checked the date to make sure it wasn't April 1st. One of my RA supervisors came by and told me that RA training was changed and all of Mesa staff was to meet in one of the new community rooms.



I quickly changed and headed towards the community room. The professional staff let us know that training would be postponed. Counseling services would be available for folks who needed it. Kids who I didn't really know yet were consoling each other. I remember the shock and numbness. I remember out of all the folks in RA training with me, there was one kid I was already friends with through Kaba. He was most panicked of all because he couldn't get a good of his uncle and he worked in one of the towers.



With training cancelled that day, I needed to get away. I got in my car and drove. I didn't know where I was going but I just let my hands steer the wheel. I somehow ended up at Corona Del Mar. I made my way to a park bench that overlooked the ocean and journaled my feelings, my grief, my helplessness. There were moms walking with their children. I kept thinking how could they be walking around like nothing is wrong?!?! But the moms looked weary. The children looked oblivious. And I realized that although our world was devasted by the horrific events, our lives still needed to continue on. I stared out into the ocean and wished it was all a misunderstanding, wished it was all a bad dream.



I went back to my dorm to try and continue with my hall prep, but my heart wasn't in it. I called up my old roommates and we decided to kickback for an early birthday celebration. We did shots of some kind of liquor. We hung out. We had fun. At least as much fun as we could despite the earlier events of the day.



When I got back to my hall hours after my birthday passed at midnight, I found out I missed a birthday party planned for me by my fellow RAs. They sang me happy birthday even though I wasn't there. They saved the cake until I got back to Mesa. We all shared cake and a few more shots. It was an odd way to celebrate my 21st birthday, but it will always be tied to that one moment in history.

I will never forget that day or the folks who made my birthday special that year.  Thank you Mesa All Stars.