Happy Oblivious Easter

When I was a kid Easter meant pastel dresses, white tights, & white Mary Janes.

I'm missing the Mary Janes but this outfit is pretty typical for what Mama Oblivious made me wear. Notice that I am on my three wheeler giving my dad "get the f out of my way face."

Easter means Easter eggs. One year I tried to dye eggs on my own. I made several mistakes. Mistakes that would happen to any six year old with immigrant parents who didn't know what dying Easter eggs was all about and left it all up to me.

First thing. I didn't read the directions. I tend to not read directions when I have to assemble things. Mike has to remind me to read directions when we come home from ikea. Otherwise we'd end up with a chair like this.

Since I didn't read the directions I didn't know the eggs should have been hard boiled. Yes this means I attempted to dye raw eggs.

I thought those dye tablets were candy. Like a Smarties candy. So I ate one.

These tablets do not taste like delicious sugar. They tasted like crap. Disgusting crap. Disgusting crap that makes your mouth change colors like you ate too much green icee.

The hilarious thing is that I knew I screwed up. I knew I couldn't go to my parents because what would they do? But I did anyway. And was met with a completely appropriate family reaction.

LAUGHTER.

Upon finding their young child with a green dyed mouth, Mama & Pops Oblivious cackled. Laughed at my predicament. I should be happy cell phone cameras did not exist because they would have taken a picture and posted it online.

After calming down, I was taken to the bathroom and told to rinse my mouth out. I gargled and spit until my mouth was a faint sheen of green.

Mike's family still does an Easter egg hunt. Here is my haul. I'd rather take this then a green mouth.

Happy Easter Everyone!

Stay Oblivious